Issue 23

 

Christmas vibes

I think I mentioned in a previous issue that one of my favourite things about Christmas morning was walking the dog. There is something magical in the air and everyone you meet are just so happy and wish you a “Merry Christmas,” it fills you with a warm glow and just happy to be alive.

I am always disappointed when I next walk the dog on Boxing Day and the world reverts back to some people returning your greeting, whilst others ignore you or at best grunt.

This week however it all changed. On Monday bright and early I was out with the dog. It was a chilly morning but not cold, it was bright as well, the perfect conditions for a 6am walk. The first couple I saw with their dog offered an enthusiastic greeting, the person on the other side of the road waved and by the time I saw one of my neighbours who is a Dad at Jamie’s school we broke into broad grins and both fist pumped at the same time!!

Monday, of course, was the day the children went back to school. Only Jamie for us (Joe just went in to be tested and Toby doesn’t go to pre-school on a Monday), but the vibes were so positive. Everyone had smiles. As I walked Jamie to school even he couldn’t stop beaming. Jamie needed school more than any of the others but boy, Emma and I really needed it.

When Tuesday came, Jamie went in as good as gold as did Toby. There was a lot more anxiety with Joseph which we were expecting given his start to secondary school, but he did well. I think it really summed up how we are all feeling about returning to the office. Some are desperate to be back whilst others are quite happy with the current arrangements.

There was a moment shortly after the kids had all gone into school on Tuesday and I made Em a cup of tea and we just sat there in complete silence. It is not that we didn’t have anything to say to each other, it is just that neither of us wanted to break that silence. My ears were still ringing from the constant noise.

The last year has been unbelievably tough on everyone. There have been some special moments and some horrible ones but one thing that has happened is that the constant noise from the kids has done both of us in. It doesn’t matter if they are happy playing or fighting like cats and dogs the noise levels are constant and they are loud.

Em will freely admit she has become unmotivated and almost entered a zombie type state in tuning out the noise. I’ve found weekends tougher as at least during the week I get to sit in the office and tune out the noise, but of a weekend I am suddenly thrust into the commotion and there is no escape.

On Tuesday morning, that silence was golden. Picture the scene in the Shawshank Redemption when the opera music suddenly plays out across the courtyard and everyone stops and enjoys a moment of complete bliss and serenity – it was exactly like that.

Birthdays galore -

 Last issue Toby had a birthday, since then we've had two more birthdays in the family. The first of which was Scouts who turned three. I am completely unashamed when I admit we are one of those families that treat the dog like another human being.  We talk to him, we ask his opinion and yes, we even answer ourselves back using his own unique Scout's voice - which is a deep, grouchy one who is often rude and even offensive. In return, he provides proper human cuddles where he places his paws around your neck and snuggles in.

We make a thing of his birthday mainly because of the kids - they really embrace it and spend that little bit more time with him then they would normally do. Scout also gets a cake and loves it.

Towards the end of February was Joseph’s birthday. Joe turned 12 and it is frightening how quickly he is growing up. He was more than happy to have a games day and watch a movie which is about the best we can do in lockdown.

 

He also got some nice presents. One was a hoverboard which he has mastered surprisingly quickly. He zooms around the house and garden as if he has been doing it his whole life. Em and I had a go on it to varying degrees of success. I can manage it all be it very slowly and in a jerky fashion, Em barely lasts seconds on it, much to the boy’s squeals of laughter.  He may have only just got it but we soon learned we had to restrict it when we found him doing a science assessment at school whilst driving around on it!

Another present he got was a Go Henry card. This is a fantastic way of giving kids the responsibility of managing and earning their money. You can set tasks for them to earn pocket money and also select which shops they can purchase things from. We were worried that Joe would not save any of his money and whilst he has treated himself to lots of things, I was also really pleased to see he purchased a present for Em for Mother’s day.  

 

Prolonging childhood innocence:

 

As much as I have been punching the air that the kids have gone back to school there is also a degree of sadness. Before the second lockdown, Joseph had started secondary school and we noticed the change in his behaviour. He wasn’t naughty or anything, but there was a certain shift, where things were no longer “cool,” and he felt the urge to ridicule more and be sarcastic which he labelled as “bants.” By default Jamie and to a degree Toby started to follow form.

 

During lockdown and away from his friends, all that started to disappear and the childhood innocence returned. The boys began to play with toys again and I can think of two days in particular last week which I was really grateful for.

 

The first was a when walking in the woods. With the weather these had become less frequent and everyone was less motivated. On this particular day we decided we simply had to get out of the house even though we had left it late. Over the past year, the one constant good thing we have done is find a TV series and all watched an episode together every night before bed. It started with Friends, then went to Modern Family and now we are devouring Once Upon a Time, a family friendly show based on the fairy tale characters. It was whilst walking through the woods and joking which of the characters we would be, that we noticed the sun had almost set. The woods had turned darker and we really thought we should be getting back to the car. At the precise moment we were discussing wolves, wolf howled in the distance. We all froze in our tracks with the boys half gleeful and half petrified. When the howl came again, I made it into a game and we invented a story that we were in the Once Upon a Time world and had to get back to the car. It was brilliant as the boy’s imaginations ran wild and a memory I will cherish. I am not sure if it was a wolf or a dog but it was a definite howl and really added to the atmosphere.

 

The second thing that I loved was wrestling. I loved watching WWE growing up. I worshipped a wrestler called the Undertaker. Over the years I had always retained an interest in the story telling, how the business works and watching the main events. The boys have fallen in love with wrestling and I have been more than happy to watch it with them.

 

This has resulted in several “Donovan events” in my household where one of us is champion and the others have to challenge them. The boys get really into it, playing their theme music and getting into the submissions. It is rare to find a game where they are all happy to let someone else win all the time. Em hates it of course as she sees the boys flying across the room or demonstrate very convincing cries of pain as they pretend to be hurt. In true motherly style she chastises us and warns us she will not be accompanying us if we have to go to hospital.

 

Still, I can’t help but think, once the boys are fully back in school, we will lose an element of that childhood play again and for that reason I am thankful I got to preserve the boy’s younger side a little longer.